Paula’s Mentor Interview
1. Do you remember what you wanted to do as a teenager?
You know, I didn't necessarily have a specific thing I wanted to be. I was really lucky in the fact that I had a great family so I've always been fairly confident and I knew I could be whatever I wanted to be. I got married young, I graduated high school young, I graduated six months early, so I graduated, turned 18, and got married all in six months. So the first thing I was, was a waitress and I was going to community college to be... I got my early childhood education degree. So I guess I always wanted to be a teacher, when I was young. I've always been interested in kids. So I did that, then I had my kids, and I waitressed. So I was a waitress until I was...thirty, probably. At thirty I got divorced, and I went to NAU, and I got my teaching degree then. So I was a full time mom, I worked full time, and I was at school full time...I was really busy then. So I guess I was always good at teaching, my father was a teacher, and that was the direction I was going, but I fell in love at sixteen and a half, so I already had a family and supported them by waitressing. And I liked that too, that was good. And I did teach! I taught for eight years. I was an elementary school teacher.
2. Could you have ever imagined that you would be doing what you’re doing now?
Mm mm [no], we didn't have pets as a kid. My family is allergic, they are not animal people. I did not come to Colorado intending to have a wolf refuge. And I didn't start it until I was forty, so again it's kind of a second half-of-life thing. So, no it's not something I had imagined. I always knew that I absolutely had to live in the mountains, in the forest, away from people. So when I was about 25 or so, my ex-husband and my two kids bought ten acres and we moved out to Parks, Arizona by Flagstaff, and again: built a log cabin and lived of the grid. You know, I had goats and horses. So I always knew I wanted to live...HAD to...not that I wanted to, I HAVE to. I absolutely cannot live in a city, so when I was in California, I got cancer and that so that's it. I can't, I need to heal and be me. I need to live out, and so I did that. But, when I lived in Parks, I had a major forest fire that came and burned everything to the ground and that's a whole other story. Then my husband and I split up, and he went to California and I moved into town [Flagstaff] with my kids and went to school.
3. When did you realize that you wanted to have a wolf refuge? Was it a decision that was made over time or...
It was this organic thing, you know? Once you get more than ten, or twelve, [wolf dogs] then you have to be licensed. The vision grew, part of that, I think, is because the wolves had the intention. I was just sort of part of their intention.
Craig and I sacrificed so much over the years...because all the money went to building Wolfwood. It's a lot different now.
4. What sort of personal fulfillment do you find in running Woflwood?
You know, I don't think that there's a level that it doesn't fulfill me on. I feel fulfilled in such a direct relation to nature. Not just with the wolves, I'm outside all day. It fulfills my deep seeded need to be outside with nature. It fulfills my passion for eduction. It fulfills my need for community...it fulfills my need for independence, I'm not really happy unless...I get to make choices, I have a lot of options and a lot of choices. I was blessed enough to be able to shape Wolfwood by my own values...Not many people get to do that with their lives...Not to mention that fact that my own wild spirit is satisfied...I'm good at it, there's something about being really good at what you do.
5. What advice would you give to a young person who’s looking to find passion or personal fulfillment in their future career/life?
First of all, you have to work hard. It does not come easily. Wolfwood is tremendous amount of work. You also have to be willing to fight for it as well...You really do have to be a warrior. You really have to fight for what you want. You have to be realistic, you know one of the fears that the state inspector had was that we would just become animal horders..You can't let people tell you "you should." You can't care much for public perception...it's a fine line between being driven and having patience...you have to remember to be grateful. Every day I'm so grateful, and if you don't have gratitude in there, it's not going to happen.
6. Would you ever extend your passion for wolves outside of Wolfwood? For ex. Get involved w/ conservation, reestablishment, or protection...
I do, and have worked with the Defenders of Wildlife. I do go to meetings and political stuff. What I'm hoping is that through my voice, other people will go to the political frontline. Wolves need people [who are in the political arena] like that.
7. Do you think it’s important to have a the person or people you love be interested in the same causes or passions that you have as an individual?
It is not necessary for them to be directly involved. It's absolutely necessary to have a support network. If they don't support you...you know that's not a person I would want in my life. ...He (Craig) supported my passion. My mom doesn't understand why I do what I do...but on the other hand she would never not support what I do. They don't have to be directly involved, they don't have to directly understand, but they have to be accepting. To share the responsibility and the decision-making is...nobody can do it alone...you need to surround yourself with people who support you.
8. Do you think where you live is as important as what you do?
For me yes, I'm not saying it's true for everybody, but for me it's essential. Absolutely essential. And for the wolves it's absolutely essential, because you can't live in a city, and you can't do it the desert...to me, a sense of place, a sense of home (which for me, is nature) is absolutely essential.
9. Have you found balance or peace in what you do?
Just recently yeah, part of fighting for what you do is sometimes...you're not really at peace. But yeah, having Wolfwood is really really hard to balance. It's hard to find balance with your family...and alone time. But you have to have some sort of balance, otherwise you burnout. Burnout is just as dangerous, especially at Wolfwood. Finding the balance is hard, but it's critical, and it takes time...Yes I have, it takes time, it's not easy to do, but it's imperative. You have to have it within yourself...because if I fall apart, everything falls apart.
10. How do you deal with people who confront you with false, presuming, or prejudice opinions about the wolves and what you do?
Again, I'm hoping that education will help, and most of the time I'll do that by controlling my environment. The first thing we do is stand between the person and the wolves, the second thing we do is not attempt to change the people who are deeply prejudice...All I can hope is that there will some sliver of information...our first job is to protect the animals...You're just planting seeds.
11. What is your personal philosophy for “life”? Or...do you have one?
Sure, absolutely. Whether or not I can frame it for you...I'll have to think. First of all, I have always, my entire life...I tend to accept everybody, I tend to live a life of acceptance. While there are things that I personally tolerate...I believe in being generous. I believe in gratitude, as a way of life. I have a lot of problems with arrogance and self-entitlement because I think that's what causes a lot of the problems in the world.
I do believe that every living being has a spirit of some kind, some sort of essence...I always believed that I could pretty much to what I wanted to do, with a vision and hard work. It doesn't always pan out but for the most part...so consequentially I don't have a lot of fear. I believe in my ability to handle, deal with, and cope with what happens in my life or what comes along.
"Work is love made visible." -Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
12. What do you think humans can learn from wolves? Whether it be on an emotional, spiritual, psychological, scientific, or intellectual level?
(Paula emailed me this answer. She needed some time to think of what she wanted to say)
Emily, I thought about your question " What can humans learn from wolves." This question is the sort that takes a lot of reflection and the answer can fill a whole book. I am not going to comment on what people historically have learned from them (like how to hunt) or what people can learn from observing them ( like the importance of community for survival).
Rather I would like to comment briefly on what humans can learn from being in relationship with wolves. We are blessed with being able to develop personal relationships with individual animals.
I think wolves, probably more then any other animal, reflect back our own true nature.
Socially and politically, I think the treatment and attitude towards wolves, and other endangered species, have a direct correlation to the treatment and attitude toward women, and the need to control and dominate them, often through legislation.
I think that our relationship with wolves tests our concepts of power vs force; dominion vs stewardship; inclusion vs exclusion.
To be in a relationship with wolves, more then anything else, requires us to be present. To be in the moment with them. They demand it, they insist on it, and if you are not, they will remind you, sometimes gently, sometimes not so gently. It is an elemental and important lesson that we need to learn, and after all, the essence of wolves is ultimately that of a teacher.
I think ultimately what humans learn is very personal and individual, just like us, just like them. Each person that comes here has their own special relationships with different animals. Each one is impacted in a different way by their experiences. The only given is that there will definitely be an impression and impact made.
For me personally, the wolves have taught me both the extent and limits of my strength. They have taught me the other side of love is pain, if you love deeply you will necessarily experience sorrow and loss. They have allowed me to be both warrior and peacemaker. They have led me to extremes and provided my life with balance. They have provided me with the opportunity to express all of who I am and realize all of who I can be.
So my dear, enough. As I heard in my geology class, " I am here not to teach you all I know, but teach you a little more then you may know." So the wolves do for me, so I hope I have done for you.
You know, I didn't necessarily have a specific thing I wanted to be. I was really lucky in the fact that I had a great family so I've always been fairly confident and I knew I could be whatever I wanted to be. I got married young, I graduated high school young, I graduated six months early, so I graduated, turned 18, and got married all in six months. So the first thing I was, was a waitress and I was going to community college to be... I got my early childhood education degree. So I guess I always wanted to be a teacher, when I was young. I've always been interested in kids. So I did that, then I had my kids, and I waitressed. So I was a waitress until I was...thirty, probably. At thirty I got divorced, and I went to NAU, and I got my teaching degree then. So I was a full time mom, I worked full time, and I was at school full time...I was really busy then. So I guess I was always good at teaching, my father was a teacher, and that was the direction I was going, but I fell in love at sixteen and a half, so I already had a family and supported them by waitressing. And I liked that too, that was good. And I did teach! I taught for eight years. I was an elementary school teacher.
2. Could you have ever imagined that you would be doing what you’re doing now?
Mm mm [no], we didn't have pets as a kid. My family is allergic, they are not animal people. I did not come to Colorado intending to have a wolf refuge. And I didn't start it until I was forty, so again it's kind of a second half-of-life thing. So, no it's not something I had imagined. I always knew that I absolutely had to live in the mountains, in the forest, away from people. So when I was about 25 or so, my ex-husband and my two kids bought ten acres and we moved out to Parks, Arizona by Flagstaff, and again: built a log cabin and lived of the grid. You know, I had goats and horses. So I always knew I wanted to live...HAD to...not that I wanted to, I HAVE to. I absolutely cannot live in a city, so when I was in California, I got cancer and that so that's it. I can't, I need to heal and be me. I need to live out, and so I did that. But, when I lived in Parks, I had a major forest fire that came and burned everything to the ground and that's a whole other story. Then my husband and I split up, and he went to California and I moved into town [Flagstaff] with my kids and went to school.
3. When did you realize that you wanted to have a wolf refuge? Was it a decision that was made over time or...
It was this organic thing, you know? Once you get more than ten, or twelve, [wolf dogs] then you have to be licensed. The vision grew, part of that, I think, is because the wolves had the intention. I was just sort of part of their intention.
Craig and I sacrificed so much over the years...because all the money went to building Wolfwood. It's a lot different now.
4. What sort of personal fulfillment do you find in running Woflwood?
You know, I don't think that there's a level that it doesn't fulfill me on. I feel fulfilled in such a direct relation to nature. Not just with the wolves, I'm outside all day. It fulfills my deep seeded need to be outside with nature. It fulfills my passion for eduction. It fulfills my need for community...it fulfills my need for independence, I'm not really happy unless...I get to make choices, I have a lot of options and a lot of choices. I was blessed enough to be able to shape Wolfwood by my own values...Not many people get to do that with their lives...Not to mention that fact that my own wild spirit is satisfied...I'm good at it, there's something about being really good at what you do.
5. What advice would you give to a young person who’s looking to find passion or personal fulfillment in their future career/life?
First of all, you have to work hard. It does not come easily. Wolfwood is tremendous amount of work. You also have to be willing to fight for it as well...You really do have to be a warrior. You really have to fight for what you want. You have to be realistic, you know one of the fears that the state inspector had was that we would just become animal horders..You can't let people tell you "you should." You can't care much for public perception...it's a fine line between being driven and having patience...you have to remember to be grateful. Every day I'm so grateful, and if you don't have gratitude in there, it's not going to happen.
6. Would you ever extend your passion for wolves outside of Wolfwood? For ex. Get involved w/ conservation, reestablishment, or protection...
I do, and have worked with the Defenders of Wildlife. I do go to meetings and political stuff. What I'm hoping is that through my voice, other people will go to the political frontline. Wolves need people [who are in the political arena] like that.
7. Do you think it’s important to have a the person or people you love be interested in the same causes or passions that you have as an individual?
It is not necessary for them to be directly involved. It's absolutely necessary to have a support network. If they don't support you...you know that's not a person I would want in my life. ...He (Craig) supported my passion. My mom doesn't understand why I do what I do...but on the other hand she would never not support what I do. They don't have to be directly involved, they don't have to directly understand, but they have to be accepting. To share the responsibility and the decision-making is...nobody can do it alone...you need to surround yourself with people who support you.
8. Do you think where you live is as important as what you do?
For me yes, I'm not saying it's true for everybody, but for me it's essential. Absolutely essential. And for the wolves it's absolutely essential, because you can't live in a city, and you can't do it the desert...to me, a sense of place, a sense of home (which for me, is nature) is absolutely essential.
9. Have you found balance or peace in what you do?
Just recently yeah, part of fighting for what you do is sometimes...you're not really at peace. But yeah, having Wolfwood is really really hard to balance. It's hard to find balance with your family...and alone time. But you have to have some sort of balance, otherwise you burnout. Burnout is just as dangerous, especially at Wolfwood. Finding the balance is hard, but it's critical, and it takes time...Yes I have, it takes time, it's not easy to do, but it's imperative. You have to have it within yourself...because if I fall apart, everything falls apart.
10. How do you deal with people who confront you with false, presuming, or prejudice opinions about the wolves and what you do?
Again, I'm hoping that education will help, and most of the time I'll do that by controlling my environment. The first thing we do is stand between the person and the wolves, the second thing we do is not attempt to change the people who are deeply prejudice...All I can hope is that there will some sliver of information...our first job is to protect the animals...You're just planting seeds.
11. What is your personal philosophy for “life”? Or...do you have one?
Sure, absolutely. Whether or not I can frame it for you...I'll have to think. First of all, I have always, my entire life...I tend to accept everybody, I tend to live a life of acceptance. While there are things that I personally tolerate...I believe in being generous. I believe in gratitude, as a way of life. I have a lot of problems with arrogance and self-entitlement because I think that's what causes a lot of the problems in the world.
I do believe that every living being has a spirit of some kind, some sort of essence...I always believed that I could pretty much to what I wanted to do, with a vision and hard work. It doesn't always pan out but for the most part...so consequentially I don't have a lot of fear. I believe in my ability to handle, deal with, and cope with what happens in my life or what comes along.
"Work is love made visible." -Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
12. What do you think humans can learn from wolves? Whether it be on an emotional, spiritual, psychological, scientific, or intellectual level?
(Paula emailed me this answer. She needed some time to think of what she wanted to say)
Emily, I thought about your question " What can humans learn from wolves." This question is the sort that takes a lot of reflection and the answer can fill a whole book. I am not going to comment on what people historically have learned from them (like how to hunt) or what people can learn from observing them ( like the importance of community for survival).
Rather I would like to comment briefly on what humans can learn from being in relationship with wolves. We are blessed with being able to develop personal relationships with individual animals.
I think wolves, probably more then any other animal, reflect back our own true nature.
Socially and politically, I think the treatment and attitude towards wolves, and other endangered species, have a direct correlation to the treatment and attitude toward women, and the need to control and dominate them, often through legislation.
I think that our relationship with wolves tests our concepts of power vs force; dominion vs stewardship; inclusion vs exclusion.
To be in a relationship with wolves, more then anything else, requires us to be present. To be in the moment with them. They demand it, they insist on it, and if you are not, they will remind you, sometimes gently, sometimes not so gently. It is an elemental and important lesson that we need to learn, and after all, the essence of wolves is ultimately that of a teacher.
I think ultimately what humans learn is very personal and individual, just like us, just like them. Each person that comes here has their own special relationships with different animals. Each one is impacted in a different way by their experiences. The only given is that there will definitely be an impression and impact made.
For me personally, the wolves have taught me both the extent and limits of my strength. They have taught me the other side of love is pain, if you love deeply you will necessarily experience sorrow and loss. They have allowed me to be both warrior and peacemaker. They have led me to extremes and provided my life with balance. They have provided me with the opportunity to express all of who I am and realize all of who I can be.
So my dear, enough. As I heard in my geology class, " I am here not to teach you all I know, but teach you a little more then you may know." So the wolves do for me, so I hope I have done for you.